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What is Sexual health?
Sexual health is a
state of physical , emotional, mental and social
well-being in relation to sexuality. Human sexuality
is complex, and is deeply connected to our physical,
psychological, and spiritual selves. Because of
this, it can be difficult to see this process when
it comes to your own sex live.
So, what is your sexual response? To say it another
way, sexual response is what happens to you when you
are becoming sexually aroused. Sexual response is a thing which
you can't control consciously. It is not the way you
take your clothes off or what you say to your
partner during sexual arousal . It is what happens
in your body like increased heart rate, dilation of
pupils, heightened awareness, flashed skin and many
changes in blood circulation of genital area and low
abdomen.
Components of sexual response
A
famous sex therapist Helen Singer Kaplan divides
sexual response on three main phases:
-Desire
-Excitement
-Orgasm
Failure of any of these three phases will cause problems
in human sex life.
If you have low or zero desire, excitement or
orgasm is there something you can do to improve it? - Of
course you can.
Here is what you can do.
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1. Desire:
it is the most
important phase of sexual response and is
primarily psychological. Desire completely depends
on the emotional state you are in at the time. So ,
if you want to improve your desire first of all take
a look
at the emotional state you are in most of the time.
If you are stressed, anxious or depressed - it is
unlikely that you will have a high sexual desire. That
means you should better work on changing your
emotional state by taking a break from work, going
on holiday, doing something you like or simply
meditate, relax and exercise.
Positive self-statement or affirmations
are a very
good help for increasing sexual desire as well.
Examples include the following:
- "I believe that I am very sexual and attractive
person all the time."
-"I am in control of my sexual desire completely and
I can increase it any time I want."
-" I can achieve as high a sexual desire as I want."
Repeat any of these statements 5-10 times in the
morning and at night (just before go to bed) for
minimum of 3 weeks. When repeated, they act like
self-hypnotic suggestions, influencing the
individual's view of themselves in a positive
direction. You can also use the wonderful hypnotic
CDs that are on my page play them at night for 3
weeks to speed everything up.
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2. Sexual Excitement:
is
what happens to your body following desire. Your
skin flashes, pupil dilates, pulse increases ,vagina
lengthens and widens, clitoris swells and enlarges,
breasts increase in size, the labia swell and
separate, the vagina becomes lubricated, and the
uterus rises slightly. Usually, vaginal lubrication
is the main indicator of sexual excitement.
Diminished sexual arousal could be due to
ignorance of your sexual anatomy and function; particularly anatomy of G-spots (spots of the body
which give you sexual arousal) and luck of effective
arousal techniques. Guilt and fear of intimacy may
also be involved.
Some medical problems and medication can cause
a decrease in sexual excitement e.g.
antidepressants, some birth control pills,
antipsychotic.
What you can
do to increase your sexual excitement.
1. KEGELS:
Squeeze More Pleasure into Your Life.
This repetitive squeezing of the pelvic muscles
improves vaginal elasticity and increases sexual
pleasure. Kegel exercise can be done anywhere, while
standing, sitting, or lying down. Ideally you should
practice it 5 times a day for as long as possible
(even for the rest of your life). How to do it? -
Slowly draw up the vaginal muscles and hold for 3
seconds, then relax. Repeat 10 times. Next, squeeze
the vaginal muscles firmly, then alternately
contract and relax them as rapidly as you can. Repeat 10 times. Kegels
exercise is useful
for women of any age to do if they want to increase their
sexual excitement.
2. CHASTEBERRY:
This herb
helps menopausal women to increase their sexual
excitement. Chasteberry is believed to have a
profound effect hormonally, not only helping to
reverse vaginal changes and lowered libido but also
relieving many of the symptoms of menopause. It
takes about 3 months of daily use to see results.
You should follow the dosage recommendations on the
label.
3.AROMATHERAPY:
When you
inhale an essential oil molecule, its unique
tapestry of active components reacts with the
olfactory membranes (smell organ) in your nose,
which is directly linked to the limbic system and
hypothalamus in the brain (which are responsible for
sexual response as well). Some of the essential oils
like jasmine, patchouli, sandalwood, rose,
frankincense, chamomile, vetiver, myrrh, cinnamon,
black pepper, and cedar wood are able to stimulate
your limbic system and hypothalamus by evoking
pleasurable responses including sexual response.
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3. Orgasm:
an orgasm usually follow a sexual excitement and can
only be achieved with the stimulation, either
directly or with intercourse, of the maximally
sensitive and aroused clitoris (in some cases
vagina).
Some women have never had an orgasm. Some women have
it rarely. Some can have an orgasm as often as they
want to have one.
The major reason for women not having an orgasm or
having it rarely is simply not knowing your own body
well enough to achieve an orgasm. Generally speaking,
these women just need to explore their bodies a bit
more to find their own sexual spots. "How to do it?"
you may ask.
The technique of exploring your own body to help you
achieve orgasm is really
simple. Here it is:
1.Relax as much as
you can. Take a warm bath or have a glass of wine.
Make sure that no one can disturb you. Find a
position which is most comfortable for you. Take off
most of your clothing. You may start out lying
on your back spreading your legs apart.
2.Fantasize about
sex with your ideal sexual partner or elaborate on a
favorite sexual fantasy. If you need more sexual
stimuli look at a sexy magazine, watch an erotic film
or read a sexy story. Let your mind explore any
sexual images as long as it increases your pleasure.
3.Explore
different parts of your body. Run your hands along
your body paying attention to areas which are more
responsive to touch that others. Take a mirror and
have a look at your genitals touching and rubbing
them gently to see what gives you more pleasure. Find
and explore with your fingers the inner and outer
labia, your clitoris , your vagina and perineum.
Then you can rhythmically stroke the different parts
of vulva, clitoris and labia. Try to do it with
different types of pressure and speed.
4.Build up sexual
excitement by using different types of touch,
stroke, tickle, pinch or pull your genitals.
Use different parts of your hand fingers, palm and
knuckles. Try to do the same motions using special
lubrication which will increase your sexual
sensations significantly.
5.Breathe deeply
and slowly releasing sexual energy progressively.
Squeeze your pelvic muscles like for the Kegel exercise
and do it rhythmically.
6. Follow your
feelings. Switch your hands or try a vibrator. When
you begin to orgasm, continue the stimulation during
the orgasm. Your first orgasm may feel a bit unusual
and unreal but the more practice you have the more
exciting feelings you will experience.
Remember: if you
know how you experience your orgasm and what to do
to have it (which areas of your body should be
stimulated for it) - you can have an orgasm in any
relationship (in any emotionally good relationship).
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Another
important area of sexual health is prevention of
STD's.
There is nothing more frustrating than
getting these burning pains ,terrible discharge from
genitals and even a fever soon after sharing a good
time and being sexually close with someone who you
like or are attracted to. Luckily, most
of STD's nowadays can be successfully treated with
antibiotics. But some STD's like Genital
Herpes stay with you for the rest of
your life. And the major trauma of having
Genital Herpes is the adverse impact it
places on your future relationship.
The main things you can do to prevent STD's is
wearing
condom
every time you have sex and be very selective with
who you have sex with.
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You feel completely shocked by the news that your doctor has just told you. You
are very angry with yourself, trying to blame fate for this unexpected turn of
bad luck . 