Welcome to the Womenhealthsite Laughter Page

Presented by Dr Irina Webster

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My dear Friends
I hope you enjoy my laughter Page. Laughter is one of the best methods for lifting your sprites, so indulge yourself in a little humour. 
On this page you will find some jokes and funny pictures, some are a bit corny. They are here to simply make you laugh and should not be misconstrued as anything else.
 

Here is joke list number 1.

A blonde comes in the electronic shop and asks a sale person if she can buy the TV on the top shelf.

The sale person glance at her and state that he doesn't deal with blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says," That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

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Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
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Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

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Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

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Will you marry me?
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..."

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

"Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

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An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home."

"Why?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.

One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner.
Now I do it in ten..."
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A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and had not been seen for five days.

An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.

The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.

"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love."

The old man replied, "I thought so ... would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking the shit out of my ducks!"

  Old Mc Donald's Farm, would you like fries with that ......................................................................................

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in the room holding their newborn baby.

"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaimed the brother.

"And why not?" asked Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday like my wife and I have here?"

Stan said nothing.

The brother grew impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

Stan couldn't take it anymore. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother, "You're SURE you want a nephew?"

"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor!"

"Well congratulations, you're holding him!"

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A man's house is on fire. No help is in sight so he takes matters into his own hands.

He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside.
Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her outside.
Then his wife. Then the dog. Then the cat.

Then he goes back in "3 more times" without bringing out anybody or anything.

So a bystander is curious and asks him, "Why do you keep going back into your burning house and not coming out with anything?"

The man replies, "I'm turning over my mother in law."
 

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 A man's house is on fire. No help is in sight so he takes matters into his own hands.

He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside.
Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her outside.
Then his wife. Then the dog. Then the cat.

Then he goes back in "3 more times" without bringing out anybody or anything.

So a bystander is curious and asks him, "Why do you keep going back into your burning house and not coming out with anything?"

The man replies, "I'm turning over my mother in law."
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A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.

The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.

"What the heck did you do that for!?!" the man screams.

"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?"

The man says, "No I don't, you IDIOT...
But my wife out in the car still does!"
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Books available at this time.
You can Overcome Infertility.
How to Beat Genital Herpes.
A to Z of Pregnancy.
How to choose the right birth control.
Have your periods the easy way.
 

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